An Evil Christmas of DOOM and Bacon!!
by InvaderZIP23
Summary: YAY!!! It'z the last chapter!!!!!!! Here u go!! Oh, by the way, those of u who wanted explosivez, don't be so sure that there aren't any in this story!!
1. Mayonnaise

Annoying disclaimer: I don't own anyone in this story. Bummer.  
  
CHAPTER ONE:MAYONNAISE  
  
( Opens up in the Skool on Fri. Dib's drawing a picture of Bigfoot, ZIM's asleep, and everyone else is staring ahead blankly. Ms. Bitters is staring ahead also. Suddenly she wacks a ruler on her desk. Everyone straightens up.)  
  
Ms. Bitters:Alright class. Open your horrible textbooks to a horrible page 6002 and begin memorizing the information. You will be quizzed on this!  
  
ZIM:(Thinking)Arrgh!Skool! What a pointless waste of time! Hmm? What's this? "Christmas. A widely celebrated human holiday. Presents are exchanged on Christmas eve and on Christmas day. Most humans put up Christmas trees and other decorations in honor of this holiday.'' Stupid earth slugs! "Some humans also hold Christmas parties in which families and friends get together to spread holiday cheer.........."(Looks confused and glaces outside. It's snowing. ZIM loooks alarmed.)  
  
Dib:(Grins evilly) What don't they have snow on your planet either?  
  
ZIM:(Nervously) It's not like rain is it?  
  
Dib:(Grinning) Of course not.(Laughs quietly to himself)  
  
ZIM:(Staring out the window)  
  
Keef:(Notices his 'bestest friend' staring out the window and looks himself)Hey! Everybody, IT'S SNOWING!!!!!!!!  
  
Sara:Snow!!  
  
Keef:Yippee!! We're going to have a white Christmas!  
  
Chunk:It's snowing!  
  
Zita:Oh boy! I love the snow!(Voice squeaks)  
  
The Letter "M":Alright!  
  
Squeek:AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!  
  
(All kids start talking at once)  
  
Ms. Bitters:SILENCE!!! Now, due to the fact that the Skool has decided you aren't getting a good enough education, there WILL BE SKOOL ON MONDAY!  
  
Entire Class:What?!! How could?!! It's the holidays!!  
  
Ms. Bitters:QUIET!!!! However, there will be a ten-minute class Christmas party in which you will be assigned a partener to buy a gift for. They will also have to buy a gift for you. THE GIFTS MAY NOT BE EXPLOSIVES OR PROJECTILE WEAPONS!!!!ZIM,Dib, this means you!  
  
ZIM & Dib:Yes Ms. Bitters!  
  
Ms. Bitters:Listen up for your parteners! 


	2. Christmas??

CHAPTER 2:"CHRISTMAS?"  
Previous chapter: Ms. Bitters is about to assign parteners for the class 10-minute Christmas party.  
______________________________________________________________________  
Ms. Bitters:Listen up for your parteners! Keef, you're with .........Squeek.  
Squeek:EEEYAAAAAAAAA!(Runs out of class and down the hall)  
Ms. Bitters:Zita, you're with......Gretchen. Spoon, you're with.........Chunk. Brian, you're with........  
ZIM:(Thinking)I hope this "snow" isn't a threat to my mission.(Glances out the window) But what about this "Christmas?" It could definetly prove dangerous.  
Ms. Bitters:ZIM you're with......Dib!  
ZIM & Dib:What?!! But he ?!! And I ?!! And, and?!! Noooo!!!!  
Ms. Bitters:SILENCE!!! Dib, you buy a gift for ZIM! ZIM, you will buy buying a gift for Dib! UNDERSTAND?!!  
(ZIM and Dib nod their heads slowly)  
Ms. Bitters:(Bell rings) Go home now!  
(The doors of the skool fly open and Gaz slowly walks out playing her Game Slave 2. Dib sees her and runs to catch up. It's no longer snowing. There's a little snow on the ground. All of the kids look dissapointed.)  
Dib:Hey Gaz! Wait up!  
Gaz:(Walks faster)  
Dib:Guess who I got for my gift exchange partener?  
Gaz:Who Dib?(Muttering) As if I didn't already know!  
Dib:ZIM!!!! My arch-enemy!!!! Can you belive it?! What do you buy your arch-enemy for Christmas?!!!!  
Gaz:Socks.(Starts walking faster)  
Dib:Whatever!  
( Zooms in on ZIM's base on Saturday. ZIM's inside vegging out in front of the TV. He's not wearing a disguise.)  
ZIM:What to do?! I must obey Ms. Bitters!!  
GIR: (Walks in undisguised from the kitchen) Hello! (Runs back into the kitchen and comes out with a large Christmas tree with bacon on it and sets it down next to the TV.)  
ZIM:Why is that Christmas tree..(Fumbles with his fingers)...thing covered with bacon?  
GIR:I dunno......(Places a mayonnaise jar on the top) Awww, lookit how purty it is!  
ZIM:How come FLOBIE or SCOODGE couldn't have gotten you instead of me?  
GIR:I dunno....the toast is yes!* Note from ZIP: This quote is the sole property of Cassidy and is not to be used without permission. Violationz are punishable in a court of stupidity. *  
ZIM:Why me?  
TO BE CONTINUED.........  
I know it doesn't have too much of a plot so far, but it will. Bye! 


	3. GIR's Good Idea

LET THE INVASION COMMENSE!!(Did I spell that right?)  
  
CHAPTER 3:GIR'S GOOD IDEA  
  
ZIM:Why me? First the mission's in jeopardy, then I get a giant tree covered in filthy bacon! I mean, how do I know what to buy the stupid Dib monkey? I must get him something humans hate! But what?!  
  
GIR:Aww, don't be sad master! Why don't you just go spy on Dib? Then you could find out whatever you need to..........find out!  
  
ZIM:Don't be ridiculouse! Wait a minute.....GIR!  
  
GIR:(Turns red and salutes)Sir!  
  
ZIM:Do you realize what you just said?  
  
GIR:(Eyes stretch out and he clasps his hands together.)Yes!(Turns blue again, unclasps his hands and shrugs.)Wait. I don't know!  
  
ZIM:I'll go spy on Dib! Maybe I can also gather some information that will be very useful later! But wait!! What if when I'm at Dib's house, he comes here and tries to destroy the base?(Looks at GIR)  
  
GIR:(Standing there stupidly. Suddenly, he punches himself in the center of the face and falls over backwards.) Ee hee hee hee hee!  
  
ZIM:We all know what happened the last time we let you guard the house.(Flashes back to a scene with the house completely destroyed.GIR:"I guarded the house!"Fades back to the present.) Ugh! Can't have that again! Hmmmm........(Looks at GIR curiously)  
  
TO BE CONTINUED....... 


	4. Complete Confusion!

CHAPTER FOUR: COMPLETE CONFUSION  
  
ZIM:.....Hmmmm....(Looks at GIR curiously)  
  
GIR:Hee hee hee! It hurts if you punch yourself!  
  
ZIM:GIR!  
  
GIR:Yes my lord!  
  
ZIM:GIR, you will go spy on the Dib human for me! If you do, I'll take you to MacMeaties.  
  
GIR:Okee-dokee! I wanna go to MacMeaties!!  
  
ZIM:You will go to his house tonight. Hopefully he'll be asleep. If he wakes up, confuse him! Sort through all his stuff to get as much information as possible.  
  
GIR:(Salutes)Yes sir! Right away!  
  
(Zooms in on Dib's house. Zooms further into Dib's room. Posters of aliens, bigfoot, Count Cocofang, and the Swollen Eyeball logo are on the walls. A laptop is on a dresser near the bed and so is a lamp. Dib's glasses are right next to the lamp and Dib himself is asleep facing the wall on the bed. Suddenly, the door opens and GIR walks in. He's undisguised.)  
  
GIR:(Rummaging through stuff) Hmmm......(Looks at the lamp, runs over to it and places the lampshade on his head.)Ha ha heeheehee! Lookit me!  
  
Dib:(Slowly opens his eyes and grabs his glasses)Huh?(Notices GIR and sits straight up) What are you doing in my house?!! I gotta go find my dad!! Finally a live alien....thing that I can show to him! Then the world will know!!  
  
GIR:(ZIM's voice echoing:"If he wakes up, confuse him!") Hmm...I can do that!(Takes off the lampshade)  
  
Dib:I know you belong to ZIM, but what are you?  
  
GIR:Look, it's a wall!  
  
Dib:What? Riiiight. Uh-huh.(Muttering) And they sent me to the crazy house!!  
  
GIR:Servuss! Ich bin der Fussboden! Ich komme aus die socken. Und du? Kaza?  
  
Dib:What on Earth did you just say?  
  
GIR:(Shrugs then starts spinning around in circles) Bacon and pizza and mayonnaise!  
  
Dib:(Looks irritated and throws a handful of wool socks at GIR's head. One gets draped across GIR's anntenna. GIR doesn't notice.)  
  
GIR:(With a sock on his anntenna)Lookit me! I'm a mongoose!(Spinning in circles) Hee hee hee!(Sock falls into his hands)Hmm?(What he sees appears on screen. The words "annoying, itchy wool socks" appear.)Yippee! (Runs out the door carrying the sock)  
  
Dib:What are you up to now, ZIM? (Stops and thinks for a minute.)Come to think of it, I don't really want to know.(Takes off his glasses and lays down again.)  
  
TO BE CONTINUED... 


	5. Too Many Wool Sox!!

Chapter 5: Too Many Wool Sox!!  
  
I don't own anything and blah blah blah…I think I already wrote this on the first page  
  
Dib:What are you up to now, ZIM?((Stops and thinks for a minute) Come to think of it,I don't really want to know.(Takes off his glasses and lies down again)  
  
(Fades out and zooms in on ZIM's living room. The door opens and GIR rockets inside and walk's over to ZIM who's sitting on the couch.)  
  
GIR;(Pulls the sock out of his head)Lookit what I found!(Hands it to ZIM)  
  
ZIM:(Looks at the sock) Come GIR, to the lab!(Walks to the kitchen and takes the toilet entrance to the lab. GIR dives in headfirst.)  
  
(Zooms in on a sector of the lab. ZIM places the sock on a platform. The computer scans it.)  
  
Computer:Processing. PROCESSING!!! Wool sock. An earth-object despised by humans due to the fact that it is itchy and uncomfortable. Thought to be the worst invention of man-kind. It is typically worn on the foot.  
  
ZIM:Hmm..."despised by humans." The perfect gift! Good work GIR! Let's go to MacMeaties!  
  
GIR:Yea!  
  
(Fades out and zooms in on the Skool on Monday. Everyone's exchanging gifts. The kids are chattering happily as they unwrap their presents)  
  
Zita:Thanks for the new hairband Gretchen!  
  
Gretchen: Don't mention it! I love the new rubber bands for my braces!  
  
Keef:Thanks for the toy squirrel Squeek!  
  
Squeek:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!(Runs out the door and plows over ZIM and Dib who are just walking through the door carrying presents.)  
  
ZIM:Here you go Dib!(Hands Dib his present)  
  
Dib:Here ZIM.(Hands ZIM his present.) 


	6. O Bacon Tree

ZIP: Oh my Irk…I FINALLY got enuf sense to finish this!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!! (Doez a scary dance around the room) Oh, by the way, I should have the next chapter of LET'S GO CAUSE SOME MAJOR DOOM!! Up soon. I finally cured that nasty disease called (air quotez) "Writer'z block". Now, I don't own IZ. How many timez must I tell u this?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EEYAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Ahem…well…it'z a good thing I waited becauze I finally fixed a large hole in the plot. Now, enuf of my psycho babble, ON WITH THE FIC!!!!!!!  
  
  
  
CHAPTER 6:"O Bacon Tree"  
  
(Both unwrap presents happily then look disappointed)  
  
ZIM: A bottle of water!  
  
Dib: Wool socks!  
  
ZIM:(Thinking) I hate water!! I'm allergic!! But I can't anger Ms. Bitters! (Out loud) Umm.......thanks.  
  
Dib:(Thinking) I hate wool socks! But I can't anger Ms. Bitters! (Out loud) Umm... thanks.  
  
Ms. Bitters: A horrible Christmas to all and to all a DOOMED night! (Bell rings)  
  
Gaz: (ZIM is walking down the hall. Gaz runs to catch up with him) You gave him SOCKS?! Some diabolical plan! You're pathetic!  
  
ZIM: (Evil grin) Not just any socks Gaz-human. EXPLODING socks. (KABOOM!!!!!) Mwa ha ha ha ha!!  
  
Gaz: For once you did something right!  
  
Dib: I'll get you for this ZIM!! (Fades out and zooms in on ZIM's base)  
  
GIR:(Hugging the Christmas tree and singing to the tune of 'O Christmas Tree')  
  
O bacon tree, O bacon tree  
  
You are oh so pretty!  
  
O bacon tree, O bacon tree  
  
You make me all giddy!  
  
You smell so nice, just like feet!  
  
And you smell like rotten meat!!  
  
O bacon tree, O bacon tree  
  
How I truly do love thee!!!!  
  
(Looks outside and sees Squeek run by)  
  
Squeek: God bless us, everyone. EEEEEYAAAAAA!!!!!(Runs away)  
  
  
  
THE END!!  
  
  
  
Well? What did u think? Oh, I have a poll I would like everyone here to take.  
  
It'z about which storiez I should post. Some are finished, some our floating around in that sea of madness and Mountain Dew called my brain. Here they are:  
  
DOOM UNLEASHED. ZIP accidentally createz a maniacal robot assassin heck- bent on killing the Tallest. Then, it'z up to a new character named Neera and ZIM to save the female Irken from her own creation.  
  
MAY CUPID BE FOREVER DOOMED. GIR and GIZ decide to play cupid for their masters on Valentine'z Day. This story iz chockfull of nonsense and DOOM. Also, turnz out ZIP'z birthday iz on Valentine'z Day. So, expect an odd party plus more stuff. Too much stuff in this one.  
  
YOU WILL KNOW IN TIME. ZIP triez to mess with the future. Okay, imagine an Irken hippie and you'll probably be able to tell I wuz sugar-high when I wrote this.  
  
DOWN WID' DA BUMZ!! The IZ crew vs the accursed Butt-Ugliez. ZIP getz in on the action too. Laser sword + BUM = pain.  
  
FRIENDSHIP CONQUEREZ ALL. Sickeningly sappy title. ZIM usez ZIP in a plan to injure Dib, but she seemz to have other planz.  
  
VACATION. A week long trip to Hawaii = madness. Keef doez the hula, Jhonen getz attacked by crazy FANGURLZ and ZIP singz karaoke. Complete madness and wafflez included.  
  
A DARK PAST. ZIP rememberz her past and takez it out on ZIM.  
  
MIND SWAP. GIR and ZIM'z brainz get switched and seeing as ZIP iz at the inter-planetary Super Smash Brotherz competition with Gaz, Dib iz the only one who can switch them back. Will he or not?  
  
WELCOME TO THE MALL OF MADNESS! The IZ cast, ZIP, and several otherz are thrown into a dimension by a maniacal idiot named NightFox StarTail. They have to survive happy cute bunniez, too loud Brittney Spears music and dun dun dun….EACH OTHER!! Not to mention people voting them off. A twisted Survivor meetz umm……something.  
  
MAN!! That'z a lot of stuff!! Pleaz help me out and vot now!!!!!!!!!!! 


End file.
